Materialism strikes.

I lost my laptop briefly yesterday. Due to my own stupidity. I managed to leave it in a library I'd been working with, while I blithely continued on to a coffee shop. Once I discovered my loss, I screamed - screamed - and hyperventilated all the way back to the library.

In my head, I had become convinced somehow that I had left it on the trunk of my car and driven off, and that someone had subsequently taken it/run over it. I mean, the whole reason I knew I hadn't left it in the library is that I'm surgically attached to the damn thing. We go everywhere together. And it is heavy; how could I not notice not carrying an extra 8+ pounds? When I couldn't find it, I made panicked phone calls to Himself and my boss, and contemplated what I could possibly file with the police that would meet muster with the insurance company...

Imagine my shame when I spotted it in the corner of the library where I'd been working, at least half an hour after my original panic.

Nothing on the laptop is irreplaceable, though it would be a real PITA to put it all back on. What really gets me about this whole thing is how attached I am to a thing. I don't think of myself as a materialist - I like nice stuff, sure, but there are more important things, nothing lasts forever, &etc., and my stuff's never really defined me. But, um, my laptop? I freaked out like it was a person. Like, love makes you real and all that. Like I felt when the dogs ripped apart my childhood teddy bear. And that's kind of sick. I mean, you can anthropomorphize a bear, at least, but electronics?

Well, anyway, it's not lost. So, I'll back everything up tonight, and have a long think about my priorities. I'm not sure I want to be the sort of person who gets that upset about an object. Even a very nice, very expensive, very useful object. It may, however, be too late; in which case I will work on the graceful acceptance part.

Sartorial splendor

One thing about working from home is the lack of need for "work clothes". In the summer in Portland, I used to spend almost all my work days in my bikini. Yesterday I spent in a ratty old sweater and pyjama pants. And today ... I have to share what I am wearing today, as it is probably the pinnacle of wierd outfits. I just go through my drawers in the morning looking for comfy, and sometimes the results are ... well.

Today I am wearing:

A nice green-and-black shell that I bought to go under one of my work suits.

With a maroon velvet skirt so short I won't leave the house in it (anymore).

And bright red granny underwear that only come out when I am fresh out of laundry and desperate.

That's bad enough, but on my feet?

Large fuzzy multicolored mukluks.

Brunching with Bloggers

Back in California, already working eves and racing toward deadlines. My eyes are bloodshot.

Before I knew what my deadlines looked like, however, I had arranged several social engagements for myself. Notably, this morning I was finally privileged to meet the talented and handsome Joshua Newman, of self-aggrandizement.com in Real Life™.

I first met Mr. Newman online when he participated in a blogging gameshow I was following (run by Ernie of LYD), "Blind Date Blog". Though he was distracted from the competition by an extracurricular skirt and ended up dropping out midway, his wry humor and brash confidence had already led me to initiate an email exchange with him. We've been reading one another's blogs faithfully since.

I'm a pretty good judge of people, and it's rare that I find someone thoroughly engaging online and not in person, though the reverse is frequently the case. And Josh, in person, is as witty, charming, and generally engaging a fellow as I had thought he would be. How I love to be right when I'm making positive predictions.

*raises virtual glass* Cheers, Josh. Thanks for breakfast. And there's a free pair of quality leather chaps waiting for you anytime you decide to make that extra effort with your appearance we discussed.

Wedding Cake Recipes

Below are all the recipes my mother and I used to make the four layers of the wedding cake. They are in order from largest layer (14") to smallest (8"). Yes, some of them contain Jello™ products; the wedding was held in the Midwest, after all. They are all excellently tasty and I highly recommend them. Each recipe makes about 2 8" rounds; if you want to make more, you'll have to do the math yourself.

VANILLA-ROSEWATER FROSTING:

We sort of made the frosting up, based on a last-minute request from Himself to make it less sweet than our usual, which is 1 egg, 1 stick butter, and 1 lb sugar, flavored to taste.

Makeshift less-sweet frosting:

~ 4.5 pounds powdered sugar - to desired thickness.
1 large package instant vanilla pudding
1/2 C softened butter
1.5 c milk
4 t pure vanilla or to taste
several capfuls rose water or to taste

Makes enough to coat a LOT of effin' cake. Definitely cut it in fourths (at least!) to make enough for a non-tiered cake.

Note on cake frosting: The fillings should be applied AFTER the first thin layer of frosting (the "crumb coat" goes on. The "crumb coat" should cover the cake where it will touch the filling. That way your filled cake can sit for several days without ever saturating the cake layer; the icing forms a barrier to moisture. To fill the cake, spread filling almost to edges, and then pipe an icing ring around edge to keep the filling in. Once the cake is filled, ice with final layer.

To Keep Cakes From Sticking:
Line bottom of pans with parchment paper.

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CARDAMON PISTACHIO CAKE:

Cardamon Cake:

1 cup milk, at room temperature
3/4 cup egg whites (about 6 large or 5 extra large) at room temperature
2 teaspoons cardamon powder
2 teaspoons rose water
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups plain cake flour
1 3/4 cups sugar
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
12 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened

Pistachio filling:

7-8 oz roasted, unsalted pistachios. Pistachios can be purchased unshelled at Indian groceries and Trader Joe's.
1 small package instant french vanilla pudding
1 C milk
powdered sugar
butter

Cardamon cake:
1. Set oven rack in middle position. (If oven is too small to cook both layers on a single rack, set racks in upper-middle and lower-middle positions.) Heat oven to 350 degrees. Coat bottom and sides of two 9-inch-by-1 1/2-inch or -2-inch round cake pans with 1 tablespoon shortening each. Sprinkle 1 heaping tablespoon of all-purpose flour into each pan; roll pans in all directions to coat. Invert pans and rap sharply to remove excess flour.

2. Pour milk, egg whites, and extracts into 2-cup glass measure, and mix with fork until blended.

3. Mix cake flour, sugar, baking powder, cardamon, and salt in bowl of electric mixer at slow speed. Add butter; continue beating at slow speed until mixture resembles moist crumbs, with no powdery ingredients remaining.

4. Add all but 1/2 cup of milk mixture to crumbs and beat at medium speed (or high speed if using handheld mixer) for 1 1/2 minutes. Add remaining 1/2 cup of milk mixture and beat 30 seconds more. Stop mixer and scrape sides of bowl. Return mixer to medium (or high) speed and beat 20 seconds longer.

5. Divide batter evenly between two prepared cake pans; using rubber spatula, spread batter to pan walls and smooth tops. Arrange pans at least 3 inches from the oven walls and 3 inches apart. (If oven is small, place pans on separate racks in staggered fashion to allow for air circulation.) Bake until cake needle or toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, 23 to 25 minutes.

6. Let cakes rest in pans for 3 minutes. Loosen from sides of pans with a knife, if necessary, and invert onto greased cake racks. Reinvert onto additional greased racks. Let cool completely, about 1 1/2 hours.

Pistachio filling:
1. Blanch pistachios (To blanch, boil water and dump in pistachios. Wait until water reaches a rolling boil again. Remove pistachios.) After blanching, remove the dark husks until all that is left are the green nutmeats.

2. Whirl hulled, blanched pistachios in food processor until nuts are a grainy paste.

3. Add package of pudding, 1 C milk, a handful of powdered sugar, and a pat of butter. Blend until smooth.

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CARROT CAKE (with Cream Cheese icing)

Carrot Cake with Pineapple and Coconut

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
2 cups finely grated carrots (about 3 to 4 medium carrots)
1 can (8 ounces) well drained crushed pineapple
1 cup shredded coconut (unsweetened)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 eggs
1 1/4 cups vegetable oil
1 cup chopped walnuts

Mix flour, baking soda, sugar, cinnamon and salt; set aside. Put carrots, coconut, pineapple, oil, eggs, and vanilla in a blender or food processor and whirl until liquid. Combine with flour mixture; beat. Add nuts. Makes approx. 2 8-inch rounds. Bake at 350 degrees for 50-60 minutes. Cool. A moist cake.


Cream cheese Icing/Filling (use for crumb coat AND filling):

8 ounces cream cheese, softened but still cool
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened but
still cool
1 tablespoon sour cream (I used a little more!)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups (4_ ounces) confectioners' sugar

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LEMON POPPYSEED CAKE (With Lemon Curd Filling)

Lemon Poppyseed Cake

1 package lemon cake mix
1 package lemon instant pudding mix
1/3 C poppy seeds
1 C lowfat lemon yoghurt
1/2 C vegetable oil
1/2 C buttermilk
4 large eggs
2 T fresh lemon juice
1 t lemon zest

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Farenheit.
Combine ingredients; beat for two minutes in electric mixer on high.
This recipe makes approx. 2 8" rounds.
Cool and frost; fill center with a thin layer of purchased lemon curd.

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DOUBLE CHOCOLATE CAKE (With raspberry filling)

Double Chocolate Cake
1 ox unsweetened chocolate, coarsely chopped.
1/3 C water
1 package devil's food cake mix
1 C buttermilk
1/2 C vegetable oil
3 large eggs
1 t pure almond extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Farenheit.
Heat water; melt chocolate in heated water.
Combine ingredients; beat for two minutes in electric mixer on high.
This recipe makes approx. 2 8" rounds.
Cool and frost; fill center with a layer of raspberry spread (we used the kind that is all-fruit, not raspberry preserve.)

Enjoy!

Full text of our wedding ceremony.

Full text of our wedding ceremony:

To all:
We are gathered together to witness and celebrate the marriage of [Stutefish] and [Himself].

This is the easy part.

At the end of this ceremony [Stutefish] and [Himself] will be legally married, but on each day that follows, they still must decide to renew the commitment they make today. That is the hard part.

Thankfully, they will have the help and love of their family and friends to support them and their commitment to one another.

I’m going to ask all of you now to make that promise, and I want you to answer, “We will.”


To guests:
Will you, their community, support and encourage [Stutefish] and [Himself] in keeping their commitments, promises and vows?
(Guests: We will)

Thank you.

To [Stutefish] :
Do you, [Stutefish] , choose [Himself], to be your partner, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do you part?
([Stutefish] : I do)

Will you make whatever adjustments are necessary in order to fully share your lives? Will you parent his children in a spirit of compromise and love? Will you take his family as your family and welcome his friends as your own?
([Stutefish] : I will)

[Stutefish] : This ring is a symbol of my promises to you.

(ring)

To [Himself]:
Do you, [Himself], choose [Stutefish] , to be your partner, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do you part?
([Himself]: I do)

Will you make whatever adjustments are necessary in order to fully share your lives? Will you parent her children in a spirit of compromise and love? Will you take her family as your family and welcome her friends as your own?
([Himself]: I will)

[Himself]: This ring is a symbol of my promises to you.

(ring)

To couple:
[Stutefish] and [Himself], we have heard you promise to share your lives in marriage. We recognize and respect the commitment you have made.

It is not a judge standing before you that makes your marriage real, but the honesty and sincerity of what you have said and done here today.

Pronouncement of marriage: By the authority vested in me by the State of Illinois, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may now kiss one another.

*kiss*

****

fin

Wedding

So, we got married on Himself's family farm in Galena, Illinois on June 26, 2004.



It was a perfect wedding, very relaxed and casual and full of good food and friends and family.

These are only selected photos, mostly of the two of us, as we don't have all our photos back yet and I figured those of you who know me online are probably more interested in us than in our numerous and wonderful friends and relations.



We rode in on "the Gator", an ATV his family uses for getting around the farm. Everyone thought this was hilarious, including us. It was a bumpy ride and hard to hang on to my veil and bouquet, but a great way to get there. My veil was sort of pasted on with a safety pin, as none of my friends knew anything about veils.





We had dozens of cameras trained on us at almost every moment. In the background of this photo is my best friend from middle school/high school, who took most of the main photos for the whole day (thank you, R!) We have hundreds more photographs coming to us soon, but I wanted to get some up while the day was still fresh. The bouquet is all herbs, with the lavender, thyme, and rosemary sent from Washington byt my friend N, who has an organic farm in Port Townsend and couldn't attend on account of new fatherhood - the best of reasons.



After signing the licenses, etc, we walked into a hall full of all our loved ones. This wedding was a real community effort - Himself's outfit was brought by relatives from India, my veil by relatives from the Philippines, I made my dress and my bouquet, my mother made the cake, and many other friends and family helped with getting everything ready and making it all go smoothly. Perhaps best of all...



My parents and younger brother (my brother couldn't be there for the wedding) had made a thousand paper cranes in the months leading up to the wedding - it was a total surprise, they told me a few days before - and they hung all over the barn. It was a festive and personal touch and a wonderful way to have part of my brother there in spirit. My grammy, who also couldn't make it, send an afghan she'd hand-crocheted.

I'll post the ceremony in its entirety in a separate post, but suffice it to say - it was short. No attendants or poetry or anything, just us getting married. About 5 minutes, tops. We exchanged rings and a kiss, then did a recieving line. Afterwards, I changed my necklace to wear the thalli, the "married woman's necklace" his relatives had brought me from Kerala.

We thanked everyone in a nice short speech from the balcony - I wrote up a list that morning of everyone to thank, and Himself did the speech. At the end, his mother said, "Why didn't you say anything? Let the bride speak too!" and I looked pious and said, "Now that I am married, my husband speaks for me." Then we ate. Oh, did we eat. The food was insanely good - lamb rogan josh and chicken and veg tikka masala, and naan and pakoras and samosas and rice and saag paneer and oof. Yum.





This is the lovely cake my mother made - I helped for the first day, but then burned out. A DIY wedding is tough and not recommended to those with no wedding experience (I'd done flowers for a lot of weddings and had some idea of how hectic it could all be.) Everyone agreed - best. wedding. cake. ever. Four flavors, and recipes will go up within a week or so. The toppers are a little turtle statue wearing a monster head that Himself keeps on his desk and a Monkey King statue I keep on mine. In this picture Himself is wearing a barong Tagalog, the traditional formalwear of the Philippines.



It was exactly the wedding we both had wanted, and the only thing I regret is that we didn't have more time to spend with all the wonderful people who showed up to celebrate with us. We got some time the next day with friends, and the week before with family, but there is never enough time with good people, really. I imagine there will be several more wedding-related posts before I am done rehashing it all.