*sniffle*
My mother phoned me yesterday with bad news.
My baby brother (15, not so baby anymore) has to go to a residential program in Utah.
My brother's always been a tough kid, angry and violent and out of control, but sweet and smart and loving in between times of awfulness. He's been on probation for the last year or so for some stupid stuff he did (including mouthing off to the probation officer on his last day so she extended it!) and the teenage years have totally magnified the problem. And this weekend I guess he lost it, more than usual. Snuck out, broke into my mom's office, pushed my (60-year-old 130-pound) mother down, kicked, hit, got my father in a headlock...
On the terms of his probation, this will put him in Juvenile Hall unless they can arrange for an alternative - I guess this place in Utah is a school that has a therapy program and a lot of individual attention and a special group for adopted kids and everything. And he needs to go soon - I'm driving up this weekend because it might be the last chance I get to see him for a while.
This SUCKS. There is no other word for it. My brother is miserable, but he won't talk to anyone, just says he can't live with my parents anymore. My parents are miserable - they've worked so hard for so long to try to help him and they are at their wits' end. My mom sounded broken on the phone - defeated, and my mom never sounds like that, never gives up.
And it's nobody's fault, really. My brother obviously needs professional help, and no therapists in town will see him because he stonewalls them. He can't control his anger, and I hope that this program can give him the tools (and the desire) to learn how. My parents shouldn't have to feel unsafe in their own house, ever, family or no.
There are only a very few options, and this looks like the best of them. I don't know how long he'll be out there, or how often he'll get to visit. I'll miss him. And I'm just so sad — for all of us.
My baby brother (15, not so baby anymore) has to go to a residential program in Utah.
My brother's always been a tough kid, angry and violent and out of control, but sweet and smart and loving in between times of awfulness. He's been on probation for the last year or so for some stupid stuff he did (including mouthing off to the probation officer on his last day so she extended it!) and the teenage years have totally magnified the problem. And this weekend I guess he lost it, more than usual. Snuck out, broke into my mom's office, pushed my (60-year-old 130-pound) mother down, kicked, hit, got my father in a headlock...
On the terms of his probation, this will put him in Juvenile Hall unless they can arrange for an alternative - I guess this place in Utah is a school that has a therapy program and a lot of individual attention and a special group for adopted kids and everything. And he needs to go soon - I'm driving up this weekend because it might be the last chance I get to see him for a while.
This SUCKS. There is no other word for it. My brother is miserable, but he won't talk to anyone, just says he can't live with my parents anymore. My parents are miserable - they've worked so hard for so long to try to help him and they are at their wits' end. My mom sounded broken on the phone - defeated, and my mom never sounds like that, never gives up.
And it's nobody's fault, really. My brother obviously needs professional help, and no therapists in town will see him because he stonewalls them. He can't control his anger, and I hope that this program can give him the tools (and the desire) to learn how. My parents shouldn't have to feel unsafe in their own house, ever, family or no.
There are only a very few options, and this looks like the best of them. I don't know how long he'll be out there, or how often he'll get to visit. I'll miss him. And I'm just so sad — for all of us.
posted by The Stute Fish at 18:07
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