Beset on all sides

Now the twelve Thunder Generals surrounded Monkey and attacked him with their battle-axes, swords, lances, halberds, maces, and scimitars. Monkey whirled like a top, countering every blow. But after a while he grew tired.

“This is hardly a fair fight!” he said. “But here’s a trick you haven’t seen yet!”

He yanked a dozen hairs from his tail, threw them in the air, and cried, “Change!” Each hair became a monkey that swung an iron staff against one of the Thunder Generals.

“Now I can take a break!” said Monkey. He put his staff away in his ear and stood grinning in the midst of the battle.

-- The Journey To The West, by Wu Cheng'en, translated by Aaron Shepard.

I need clones. I counted. I need six little monkey-mes to do all my work, sleep all my sleep, spend time with all my friends and loved ones, and take care of all the mundanities. But I am not greedy; I would settle for one or two, just for work. I feel sure I could at least do a better job of everything else if there weren't so much work. I think I've actually had four proper weekends since I started this job over three months ago. And my freelance stuff...I can't even talk about it. Too too grim.

One earthly shell is just not enough. I demand either clones, magic hair-monkeys, or more days in the week! Do you hear me?! I can't do this by myself!