Warning: May be Hazardous To Self And Others

When I was in the third grade, I couldn't pay attention. I mean, I was just the spaciest kid. Ms. Bowen got this tri-fold thing, like cubicle walls, and put it around my desk facing the front of the room so I couldn't look out the window or at my fellow students. I guess she thought it would work like blinders on a racehorse. But I just waited until she wasn't paying attention, and then moved it around so I could only see out the window. The other kids all asked me what I was doing, and I seem to recall telling them, "It's more interesting this way."

It wasn't just school, of course. My parents used to call me "the space cadet" because I was always way out there in orbit, mentally. Somewhere else. The family joke was that when you played cards with me I got "lost" between turns and you had to call my name several times before I noticed you were speaking or realized it was my go. If it weren't for the fact that I could concentrate when it suited me, though never on "suitable" things, I'm sure we all would have suspected some sort of mental disorder.

Frankly, I think I'd be happier if it were a mental disorder. As it is, I have no one but myself to blame when I tune out the important things.

This post brought to you by the fact that I have let my insurance lapse on one of my houses and both our dogs without realizing it, because I spent about six months last year not opening my mail and didn't check to make sure the automatic withdrawals were functioning properly. By the fact that I turned a significant report in significantly late this week because I couldn't focus enough to get it done on time. By the fact that I just remembered I got a traffic ticket in 2003 that I spaced going to go to court for (I were innocent, yrhonor, honest I were) and then haven't yet paid the penalties on. By the fact that I just plain forgot to take my sweet spaniel to the vet on Saturday, because her eye was looking a bit irritated, and we went yesterday and the doctor says it is acute onset glaucoma and she might lose her vision on that side.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Photo is of a sign I found painted on a wall in Jaisalmer Fort, Jaisalmer, Rajasthan, India. It wasn't Himself's favorite sign; he liked the one that said, "This Way To Up," but it's quite apropos for me these days.