Even I, Queen Of Social Missteps, know this one.

Dear person two cubicles behind me,

In case it had escaped your notice, this is an office. As in, a professional space in which people attempt to work. With cubicles. This means that when you get the urge to HUM INCESSANTLY or WHISTLE or SING TO YOURSELF or TAP THINGS RHYTHMICALLY you should just — refrain. Really. I mean, thank God you're at least not off-key, but that does not stop me from wanting to kill you with my bare hands.

No love,
Me.