Atkins hate, Cornbread recipe, and musings on beer.

At this time last year, I was on the Atkins/South Beach diet. There were several things I hated about the diet, but two stand out above all.

First, it made carbohydrates sound like zombie food. The more you ate them, the more you wanted to eat them. To listen to Atkins fanatics, one muffin and soon you'd be shambling about the countryside, drooling and muttering, "Caaaaarbsss...caaaarbbssss..." Ditto sugars. And ditto beer. Fuck that. Carbs are the base of almost every human diet anywhere, whether it's bread or rice or taro. And ain't nobody fat like America.

Second, it worked. I lost like ten pounds, in two months or something. They're back now, but I'll be damned if I ever do that stupid diet again; if the wedding dress hadn't already been cut out, I wouldn't have done it in the first place. I hate the idea of dieting. I hate that it worked. I betcha if I just walk to work a few times a week I'll get the same results. Betcha. Now I just have to actually do that, to test the hypothesis. Damn.

In the spirit of Atkins loathing, I give you the recipe for cornbread that has been making me happiest lately.

Creamed-Corn Cornbread

Ingredients:

• 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, 1/2 stick
  
• 1 cup yellow cornmeal
  
• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
  
• 2 tablespoons sugar
  
• 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon baking powder
  
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
  
• 1 can (~8oz) creamed corn
  
• 1 cup milk
  
• 1 large egg, well-beaten

Instructions:

1. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Melt the butter.
   
   
2. Mix liquids together (creamed corn, milk, half of the melted butter and egg).It will all fit into one of those handled 2-cup measure,s if you've got one; just pour in the milk first, as it's the only part you have to measure.
   
   
3. In a medium bowl, mix dry ingredients together (cornmeal, flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt).
   
   
4. Put the rest of the butter in a 9" round or square pan and heat it in the oven until the pan is hot.
   
   
5. Make a well in the center of the dry mixture and pour in the liquid. Stir, but remember, with recipes that use baking powder, less stirring is better, so stir just until blended.
   
   
6. Pour the batter into the hot cake pan.
   
   
7. Bake until the cornbread is golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, 30 to 35 minutes.

Also, on the subject of beer, a random observation:

Someday someone will invent a nonalcoholic beer that tastes better than Budweiser. Like, a nonalcoholic microbrew. If they did? I would almost never drink real beer. As it is, though, I only resort to the Clausthaler when I've gotta drive or otherwise be on top of my game. Because yeah, it's got nothing on the good stuff.

This pointless post brought to you by milkfat, refined sugars, brown ale, starch, and the much-abused semicolon.