I am my evil doppelganger

Being pregnant is like suddenly becoming my worst self, all my faults magnified and my virtues occluded. I am become even more negative, even more whiny, even more forgetful, even more volatile, even more self-centered, even more scattered, even more unproductive, even more weepy, even more ignorant, even more bitchy, even more lumpish and slow.

Cross your fingers and entreat your deities, people, that I have twins in the oven. Because I want two children, but I don't want to be this person ever again, particularly not if trying to parent a small being at the same time.