Conflicted and unconflicted thoughts on recent events.

At the pump yesterday, my mother and I were talking about what people pay attention to. "Good," I said. "I don't care if gas prices are up. We subsidize oil too heavily anyway; we should be paying $4 and $5 a gallon, not driving all over the goddamn place like the resource is unlimited and there's no impact to using it. I hope gas prices stay high until 2008," I said, "Maybe that will convince people to get the Republicans out of office."

And you know, I would pay ten dollars a gallon if I had to, for the next three years, without question, if I thought it would get Bush out of office. The direct connections between his poor choices in Iraq and the magnitude of this latest disaster are sickening. If the pump is what it takes to get people outraged and keep them there, then goddamnit, I'll pay it.

But not everyone can. If you're already living on a tight budget and you need your car to work or get your kids to school, that extra $.25 at the pump can be the difference between getting by and not being able to make ends meet. And it's not fair of me to wish that on them, no matter how much I think we'd all be better off without these morons in power.

Still, my inner cynic wonders how the Republicans will manage to spin this, by the next election. What will they do, to twist and santitize crowds of the dying poor chanting "We need help" and global condemnation of the government's role in the tragedy? You know they'll try. And I've lost faith in the voting public's ability to hear facts and remember truths. Part of me says the only thing that's going to wake people the fuck up is gas gouging.

But how am I any better, if I'm willing to call poor families who can't afford rising pump costs "collateral damage" in a political struggle for supremacy? Any policy that disproportionately harms those who have the least is not something I can wish for, however desirable its other effects might be in the long run.

And though you've likely seen this all elsewhere, some Katrina information:

Places to send charity (and places to avoid) - The FEMA is directing donations to Pat Robertson's right-wing, scandal-ridden Operation Blessing, among others. This list gives you a good picture of the charities that are doing charity work, versus those that are mixing religious strings in with their humanitarian relief.

Also, and this cannot be emphasized enough, please don't earmark your donations for Katrina relief. Most organizations work one disaster ahead, which means that prior general fund donations from the tsunami and other disasters are actually funding humanitarian relief efforts even now. Earmarking money for Katrina can limit its usefulness in this or any other disaster.

Blood donation is also a way to help; I can't give or I'd do it, but maybe you can.

I was going to put together links about my outrage, about the president's bullshit and "we didn't know" and "unacceptable outcomes" and about how ashamed I am of a country that leaves its poor to die of thirst and hunger and then blames them for "looting" when they get supplies any way they can. I was going to try to talk about how the "evacuation plan" only worked if you owned your own transportation, because they shut down the Greyhound on Saturday, about how they've started "evacuating" the Superdome but the numbers keep growing, about how people are being turned away, in Houston, because there is no room at the inn Astrodome, or how Homeland Security is refusing to let international rescue teams into the country. But I am just too angry, and too sad, and too overwhelmed.

I have never been to New Orleans, and I don't know anyone who lives in the area. For me, this is almost as distant as the tsunami disaster. Except that there was relief for the tsunami disaster. Immediate government relief, an outpouring of it, from all over the world. And this is America, and these are Americans, and we have left them to rot as though we are not the country with more resources than any other, as though they were not our own. People are living (and dying) in their own shit and our government is wringing its hands and doing nothing to help. I am so ashamed. I am so ashamed.