My Life Is A Farce
Seriously. A comedy of errors.
Last night I went to pick my husband up at the airport. We got his bags loaded in at the curb and went to start the car - and the steering column had locked, or the ignition or something - the key won't turn. After ten minutes of fiddling, a call to the mechanic, and noises about calling AAA, we got it to start and drove home. As we went to bed, my husband said, "I think your phone is beeping - is the battery low?" I told him I'd check it in the morning.
This morning I got up and showered and had breakfast, etc. As I dashed out the door on my way to my OB appointment, I realized that my car was still broken. I did remember to grab my phone - but the battery, as my husband suspected, was dead, even though the forwarding cradle it was in was supposed to charge it. Another ten minutes of fiddling got the car to start again, and I made it to the OB appointment - where the front desk is the most ridiculously unhelpful front desk ever.
I kid you not, I had to ask them for the urine sample cup (apparently, I should have known that they keep them in the unlabelled cabinet behind the toilet). I knew from last time to bring my own disinfectant wipe (the sign in the bathroom says to "wash the area thoroughly with soap and hot water" - yeah. In a 3'x3' public restroom, suuuuure) and this time at least I didn't have to ask them where the sample went - nothing is labelled, and the compartment is about 6" square and hard to see. Also, there is a basket of Sharpie markers on the back of the toilet - so you can write your own name on the cup. Again, no instructions. Waited an hour for the doctor, heard the heartbeat - thump thump thump - back to the front desk, where I was handed complex paperwork with no explanation. I like the OB a lot, or I would never put up with this; I have never, ever dealt with a less helpful front desk. Turns out I need to go to two separate hospitals in the next three weeks, one of which I need to call ahead of time for an appointment. Neither the phone number nor the directions (nor the information that this is what I needed to do) was provided to me until I specifically asked.
So, down to the car. This time, no amount of jiggling or prayer will start it. I give myself a blister on my thumb trying. I try to call AAA - but they are experiencing record wait times; the meagre charge on my cell phone will never survive it. Back up to the doctor's office, to try to place the road service call online. Back down to the car, because I left my AAA card there and I need the number. And up to the waiting room, where AAA's web site insists that I have a username and password, but refuses to give it to me. The web site starts to crash intermittently and will not allow me to place the tow request online. I try my husband; perhaps he can place it for me, but he is in meetings and unreachable. My cell phone dies.
I ask the front desk if they have a phone I can use; they send me to their business office, but give me the wrong directions, so that I try two separate offices before finding the correct one. Nobody is there, so I wait for another ten minutes before someone comes out to help me. Finally, the call is placed.
I am starving and I have to pee and the tow truck will be here "some time in the next 45 minutes" to take me to a mechanic I have never been to before, who was recommended by the same front desk woman who cannot give simple directions. And then I have no idea how I'm getting home from there; cab service in California is expensive and intermittent. Maybe it will turn out to be another exciting adventure.
See? Farce.
Update: I had a Luna bar for lunch. The lemon zest kind are gross. The tow truck company sent a battery charging truck out instead, as all of their tow trucks were out dealing with accidents on the freeway. Luckily, the battery-charging fellow agreed to have the tow truck come out later and to take me home in the meantime, so I'm back and safe, and the car will be towed without me.
Last night I went to pick my husband up at the airport. We got his bags loaded in at the curb and went to start the car - and the steering column had locked, or the ignition or something - the key won't turn. After ten minutes of fiddling, a call to the mechanic, and noises about calling AAA, we got it to start and drove home. As we went to bed, my husband said, "I think your phone is beeping - is the battery low?" I told him I'd check it in the morning.
This morning I got up and showered and had breakfast, etc. As I dashed out the door on my way to my OB appointment, I realized that my car was still broken. I did remember to grab my phone - but the battery, as my husband suspected, was dead, even though the forwarding cradle it was in was supposed to charge it. Another ten minutes of fiddling got the car to start again, and I made it to the OB appointment - where the front desk is the most ridiculously unhelpful front desk ever.
I kid you not, I had to ask them for the urine sample cup (apparently, I should have known that they keep them in the unlabelled cabinet behind the toilet). I knew from last time to bring my own disinfectant wipe (the sign in the bathroom says to "wash the area thoroughly with soap and hot water" - yeah. In a 3'x3' public restroom, suuuuure) and this time at least I didn't have to ask them where the sample went - nothing is labelled, and the compartment is about 6" square and hard to see. Also, there is a basket of Sharpie markers on the back of the toilet - so you can write your own name on the cup. Again, no instructions. Waited an hour for the doctor, heard the heartbeat - thump thump thump - back to the front desk, where I was handed complex paperwork with no explanation. I like the OB a lot, or I would never put up with this; I have never, ever dealt with a less helpful front desk. Turns out I need to go to two separate hospitals in the next three weeks, one of which I need to call ahead of time for an appointment. Neither the phone number nor the directions (nor the information that this is what I needed to do) was provided to me until I specifically asked.
So, down to the car. This time, no amount of jiggling or prayer will start it. I give myself a blister on my thumb trying. I try to call AAA - but they are experiencing record wait times; the meagre charge on my cell phone will never survive it. Back up to the doctor's office, to try to place the road service call online. Back down to the car, because I left my AAA card there and I need the number. And up to the waiting room, where AAA's web site insists that I have a username and password, but refuses to give it to me. The web site starts to crash intermittently and will not allow me to place the tow request online. I try my husband; perhaps he can place it for me, but he is in meetings and unreachable. My cell phone dies.
I ask the front desk if they have a phone I can use; they send me to their business office, but give me the wrong directions, so that I try two separate offices before finding the correct one. Nobody is there, so I wait for another ten minutes before someone comes out to help me. Finally, the call is placed.
I am starving and I have to pee and the tow truck will be here "some time in the next 45 minutes" to take me to a mechanic I have never been to before, who was recommended by the same front desk woman who cannot give simple directions. And then I have no idea how I'm getting home from there; cab service in California is expensive and intermittent. Maybe it will turn out to be another exciting adventure.
See? Farce.
Update: I had a Luna bar for lunch. The lemon zest kind are gross. The tow truck company sent a battery charging truck out instead, as all of their tow trucks were out dealing with accidents on the freeway. Luckily, the battery-charging fellow agreed to have the tow truck come out later and to take me home in the meantime, so I'm back and safe, and the car will be towed without me.
posted by The Stute Fish at 11:42
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home