Conversations

Child to mommy (walking by my house): Mommy, why is the sun a star?
Mommy: What do you want it to be, cheese?

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Squid (playing): Yayyyyy!
Me: Are you a happy guy?
Squid (squealing delightedly): Happy guyyyyy!
minutes pass...
Himself: Hey, guys!
Squid (now whiny, underfoot, and wanting food): Cooking? Eggs? Up please?
Me (attempting to redirect his attention): Can you tell Daddy how you're a happy guy?
Squid (whimpering, sobbing, clutching at my pant leg): Happy guyyyyy!

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Woman in drugstore, to man: Say it again!
Man: You were right.
Woman (almost moaning with pleasure): One more time.
Man: I was wrong.
Woman: Oh, god, that feels amazing.

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Me to Himself: [Squid]'s pyjamas were wet again this morning. I think it's just that he's drinking more with the hot weather.
Himself: Maybe we should staple a bunch of those silica gel packets around the crib.
Me: You mean to dessicate him?
Himself (eminently reasonable): Well, yeah!

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Chatty man at gas pump (talking to me about gas prices): I just do what I told my ex-wife to do all three times she was in transition - laugh through it!
Me (thinking to myself): Three times?! That is the most indecisive transsexual I have ever heard of!
...
Me (finally getting it): I bet that won you points.
Chatty man: I did mention she was my ex-wife, right?